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so she says;






our play alley
Wednesday, February 18, 2009

i feel a strong sense of uncertainty. tonight, it will be over. tonight.

knowing i wont be travelling anytime soon kills me. prolly like what he said last night, i am living in denial. there're many things i wish hadnt happen. its ripping my heart apart and feeling sick in the stomach. helpless. how helpess.

computer crashed before HK. its sucha bitch. thank god for ron and way. now i have a desktop and laptop. LOL. everyone is so busy fixing it yesterday. so many things were running through my head since 9.10am. i was pretty numbed and disorientated. i managed to text boyfr and he is, for once, being extra supportive. at 5pm, way and i drove to demspey. i pour my heart and grumblings upon him. he has been my inexplicable pillar for the past 4 years. i thank someone from above for him. i never had a chance to tell him. perhaps, i fear. ron pick me up for dinner slightly after 7 and i am relieved. i do not have to speak much to him. prolly we have know each other for 10 years. he knows more than i thought. many things seem to have slipped away. maybe i have been too busy living my life. i locked the door feeling ultra drained. my phone has been going nonstop for the night. i secretly feel glad because i need sympathy last night as much i hate to admit it. its slightly after midnight and my eyes are heavy. i run a quick shower and return boyfri's call. to pull through the day, we hang up at 2am. i was lost for a min. my brother did mask for me. crawled to bed and pillow talk till 3am. i sleep with ease. i need a sleep. for the longest time.

i think i will feel better today. a tad bit works fine with me. i need to go back and catch some sleep. i will see him for my favourite seafood and stop worrying for the rest of tonight. leave the car. the speed. the family. the work. the issues. till again.

@12:42 PM